Little man loves to watch children play.
He will observe them intently, sometimes I think he would like another child to play with him too. Thinking about that makes me feel sad sometimes. I do not think I can handle another baby at this point in time. I am not young anymore.I once told hubby that I do not want to have babies after the age of 35. Now, 2 years going to 35, I do not think I want to have another child. I do not think I can handle it.
I don’t say this to anyone, because some people (especially those who think they know better) can be rather judgemental. I think such decisions, like whether to have children or not, should be something personal. You can have 10 if you want to, but that does not give you the right to judge and belittle people who do not want to have any. So detractors, go away!
I used to tell my mother that I will have a second child if she can help me look after them. She retorted that I shouldn’t put the blame on her when making such decisions. I didn’t really want to go into this conversation hence I let it go. But the truth is, I am not blaming her for anything, but just stating the facts. Hubby and I need help if we are really going to have another child. Most couples who have many children have help of their own parents. Either that or the mother will have to give up her work and look after the children. I don’t believe in giving birth to a child without thinking of such care matters. The truth is, I have tried IFC for little man, and turned out he kept getting sick and hospitalised. Who is to assure me that my second one will not be as sensitive as my little man, as more than one peidatricians told us that such sensitive airways often is passed on from the parents to the child. IFC is not an option, nanny is very difficult to find, then what does that left me?
I want to work. I need to work. Singapore is getting more and more expensive to live in. As much I feel apologetic towards little man for able to give him a sibling, I stand by my point of view at least for now, till something or someone change it.