Hubby’s brother came to visit the other day, bringing his family and an additional member. She was 3-months old and looks like an interracial baby.
The inlaws were hesitant in giving us more details, which is entirely understandable. They have adopted her since 2 months ago, and only now is she introduced to us. In a casual conversation, I asked the siser-in-law on her decision to adopt. She told me, the brother-in-law wanted to give back to the society. Since their two boys were getting older (in Primary school), they felt that this is something they wanted to do.
This is actually none of my business, but it sort of left a deep impact on me.
Adoption is not an easy decision to make. And this is about adopting another human being. I think if I want to contribute and do my part for the society, I will give back in other ways. Adoption takes a lot from everyone in the family involved. You just need one unwilling party to make the life of this adopted child miserable. Providing basic needs for the child is one thing, making sure that all can love her as their own is another. As much as I feel that it was really big-hearted of them to do this, I could not understand it.
For us, even the decision to have a second child is difficult as too much is involved. But I know for sure that if there is a second child, he/she will be loved as much as the first, for he/she is my child, nobody else’s. When I looked at this baby girl, I couldn’t acknowledge her as part of Hubby’s family, neither cognitively nor emotionally. If this is the case for me, an “outsider”, it’s probably much harder for the two boys in that family.
Anyway, just need to throw these thoughts out. They have been a little nagging. Different people make different decisions, and I am not in the position to judge. Perhaps because something so far suddenly came so near and got me thinking.
Somehow, I started cherish little man more than ever.