Tag Archive: Faith

A mother’s prayer

Dear Lord, Heavenly Father
I come before you tonight
With a heavy heart

Things happen
And I do not understand why

Yet I still come to you
With much faith and prayers

That you will walk
With the mother who is grieving
Whose heart must have been torn
Into a million pieces
Whose grief is deeper than we can imagine
Only you can reach and console

That you will walk
With the mother who is praying
For her child to be well
To be just like before
With health, liveliness and all

That you will be with all the children
Lovely, innocent and small
To protect them in your arms
From sickness, accidents and harm

That you will take care of those little angels
Who have come to you before their time
Until the day the mother stops grieving
And also come your way

Pray

I went back to my workplace yesterday to prepare for the start of work next month.

There was jitters, uncertainties and a little bit of fear. I have not been able to function in full mode given my current vision. Thankfully, the day went by alright and for a while, I did not even think about it.

When I was leaving, I deliberately passed by the chapel. There were girls inside, singing beautiful hymns. I stood outside for a long while. I wanted to step in. I could not bring myself to do so. My heart felt so full just standing outside the chapel, I am worried I will not be able to contain my emotions if I go in. And I prayed, and I prayed, while standing outside.

This chapel saw me through many of my ups and downs throughout my almost nine years of working life in this place. Many times, I hid inside, seeking solace and praying for light to shine upon my darkness. Many times, things worked out eventually, and I finally could move on. I prayed that I can move on this time too, and eventually, I will be alright.

I cannot deny how much my cuurent condition affects me. Many times, thinking about it just makes me cry. I believe it’s the helplessness, not knowing why. But I told myself and Hubby, I do not want to dwell on it and depress myself further. Crying will not help the situation, it just brings everyone whom I love down. I need to be stronger. Since the eye specialist did not see any physical and functional problem with my eyes, I should just go with her suggestion to see the ENT specialist. If that specialist also thinks there is nothing wrong with me, I would probably seek a second (and more expensive and private) opinion.

I need a plan to pull me through, and this will be it for now.

And I will pray and pray that like many other times when I prayed, all will eventually be well.

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