Tag Archive: Little pea

Birth story of little pea

This is a post that has been in my head since the day I delivered little pea but did not get to put down in words because there were simply too many things going on right after his birth, and I was just too exhausted. However, late as it may be, I had to dedicate a post to this, because it was an entirely different birth experience from the delivery of little man.

The delivery of my beloved firstborn was a traumatic, energy and emotionally draining experience as recorded here. This experience caused me to develop mild postnatal depression after that. And for a long time, I couldn’t think of having a second child again.

This time, however, I felt really good about the whole delivery process. I felt well taken care of and very much involved in the entire process. This is how important the gynecologist is.

My first gynecologist was an old doctor, Dr G Tan who had a clinic at Gleneagles. His service was not expensive, but he showed no interest nor concern in the health of his patients. Many times, he was playing with his mobile phone during our consultations. And he showed up in the last minute just before little man made his appearance in my entire 16-hour delivery. I felt like giving him a tight slap when he showed up in his “Hawaiian” flowery shirt and said jokingly, “You thought I am not coming right?”

Still, I did not know a gynecologist can make such a difference, especially in the delivery process. I decided to switch gynecologist when I found out I was pregnant because of some very positive experiences with my current gynecologist, Dr Benjamin Tham. Although the way the clinic’s nurses work can be rather frustrating and you are never able to reach the doctor directly, Dr Tham made up for that in major ways. He is always very reassuring and makes me feel that I can trust his judgement.

Dr Tham has always been very concerned about little pea’s weight as he felt he was on the higher end of the scale. Perhaps due to my petite frame, Dr Tham felt that it was better for me to keep check of little pea’s weight if I do not want a big tear on the day of delivery.

At week 37, Dr Tham asked me if I would like to choose a day to induce the baby as I am already 2cm dilated. According to him, baby has reached 3.1kg and is now safe to be induced. I said I would think about it, but frankly, I was not prepared for an induction. I have always wanted for little pea to stay in till week 40 as I have read that it is for the best. However, after speaking to my mother, who felt that it is better to choose a date for induction than to be caught off-guard like my first delivery, Hubby and I gave it a serious thought.

We first decided to induce little pea on the 19th May, which means I had to get to the hospital on 18th May 11pm. However, I caught a bad flu bug on 17th May and was not feeling very well. I called up the clinic and requested for a later date, but as predicted, the nurses are just not helpful at all. I was really very upset and I remember telling Hubby that I will just not show up if they refuse to give me a later date. I really do not want to deliver in such a bad state.

The next morning, on the 18th, I went to the toilet as usual and found unusual discharge with streaks of blood. Immediately I knew it’s mucus plug, even though I have not seen nor experienced that before. A quick check with my good friend, Mr Google confirmed my suspicion. I called up the clinic and asked for my gynecologist. Just like every time I tried to get to my gynecologist, a nurse got back to me instead. She then advised me to monitor the situation and if there is a bloody show or contractions, I should immediately get to the hospital. As I was tested positive for GBS, the nurse advised me to come in earlier in case my waterbag broke. I had to be put on IV antibiotics for the entire delivery process for the safety of my newborn. Hubby decided to work from home just in case there is any emergency.

At noon, I started to feel some contractions. More mucus plug came out with more streaks of blood. I decided to go down to the hospital to check it out, but not without first taking a good lunch and bath. By the time we reached the hospital, it was 3pm. We met Dr Tham on our way to the delivery room. He was on his way home. He was amused that we took so long to come down to the hospital and told the nurse to monitor my condition and update him. “If everything is alright, you can go home and I will see you tonight.” I remember exchanging glances with Hubby. We were hoping that this is not a wasted trip. Turned out that, I am 4cm dilated, but the contractions are not strong. Dr Tham sent us back home and told us to come again late at night.

I was quite amused by how things turned out. I have always wanted to let little pea decide his own delivery date and was rather upset at the thought of induction. But God has his plan, and now little pea has chosen to come out on 19th May. In a way, it doesn’t feel much like an induction at that point in time.

It was not such a bad thing to be sent back, because we managed to spend time with little man, had dinner with him and put him to bed before going off to the hospital again. When we reached the hospital, I was still 4cm dilated. The nurses at the delivery room was very kind and helpful. One of them told me to let them know earlier if I want the epidural as I was already 4cm dilated. Things can come fast and furious suddenly, and it takes time for my appointed anaesthetist, Dr Yvonne Lim to come. She was the anaesthetist for my first delivery as well, and she was excellent.

After some time, I decided to ask for the epidural. When Dr Yvonne Lim came, she asked if I had any experience with epidural. I told her that I did and I vomited badly the last time. She then ordered some anti-nausea medication for me. I was stunned to hear that there is such a thing. Instantly, I felt that I have suffered in vain for my first delivery. After a while, Dr Tham came by and check on me. He heard that I was still feeling slightly nauseated and ordered for a stronger medication. The rest of the night is just a breeze as compared to my first nasty experience.

Initially, I was not yet induced as Dr Tham wanted to see if I can dilate further. However, I was dilating to slowly, in the end Dr Tham had to order to induce me. Then everything started to move very fast. Before we know it, I was 10cm dilated. Dr Tham came down and started preparing me for what is to come. He then guided me through the whole delivery process patiently. For the first time, I felt that I was truly involved in the whole delivery process. I could feel little pea coming out of me, though my entire lower body was numbed. Then without even asking, Dr Tham placed little pea gently on my chest. Little pea was crying when he did that.

I”It’s alright, J. Mama is here.” I remember telling little pea. Then, as though he recognised my voice, little pea stopped crying and looked at me. My eyes were brimming with tears at that point, not only because I was touched, but also due to the fact that I will never be able to do that for little man. It is one of my greatest regret, and it always will be.

Due to the good delivery experience, I felt really good after that. Unlike the last time, when I cried so much after the whole process, I felt strong emotionally. I felt like I was able to take on the challenges that come later and not get down to depression. And true enough, except for the serious lack of sleep, the past 6 weeks have seen me becoming a more patient person.

This is probably my last pregnancy as two is really enough. But I will definitely go back to Dr Tham again, if there is a third one. *fingers crossed* 🙂

A bad scare

Waiting for little pea to wake up for his 3pm milk as I am typing this post. It’s been a month since his birth and I am constantly amazed by how Hubby and I are surviving on so little sleep.

Even though I ate very healthy and clean throughout my pregnancy with little pea, he did not come out problem-free. He was very colicky on the first day of his birth and did not manage to pee until the next day of our hospital stay. Then he developed very bad baby acne and reflux issues subsequently. He is constantly crying after feed, arching his back in pain. He also has trouble burping the air out. Ironically, little man was a much healthier baby than little pea is.

Earlier in the week, little pea was suddenly pooing more than usual, and they were mushy and green. I was so worried, but because we were having an appointment with the pediatrician the next day, I did not bring him to see the doctor immediately. And so, we went for his appointment the next morning, full of queries and worries. Little did we know, the “diarrhea” is the least of his problems.

At the clinic, I was trying to tell the pediatrician about my worries when she solemnly started telling me about a heart murmur she heard when examining little pea. I remember looking blankly at her as if she was speaking a foreign language. When all finally sank in, I was trying hard not to cry.

A heart murmur. A probable hole in his heart. Or some other serious issues. I had so many things running through my mind.

The pediatrician then consoled me that it is probably nothing, but it’s better for us to take little pea to a specialist to do an ultrasound. She started telling me the difference in costs between going to the polyclinic to get a referral to KKH and going straight to a private specialist. “It’s really no hurry”, she said. “But if you want, you can probably get an appointment with the private specialist later in the afternoon.”

Throughout the journey back home, my mom and I were very quiet. I was silently tearing while baby-carrying my little pea. After discussing with Hubby, we decided to bring little pea immediately to the private cardio specialist later in the afternoon. I was praying so hard throughout the ultrasound. Fortunately, everything was working fine in his tiny little heart, except that at certain points of his blood vessels, there is higher pressure than normal. It is likely that these difference in pressure is causing the heart murmur. We were told to go back for a review 6 months later.

It was such a bad scare. But it was also a reminder that as long as this little life is strong and healthy, it does not matter how many more sleep-deprived nights we are going to have, because these are all happy problems. Nothing really matters as long as we are all safe and healthy.

Our little pea

Most of you would have already known, but still I want to officially introduce the 2-week-old new member of our little family,

Little pea.

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It has been a extremely tiring yet wonderful 2 weeks since little pea arrived. There are so many things in my mind that I want to put into words. But I am just too sleep-deprived at the moment. Let me slowly get used to the new schedule that involves a little human being and my hard-as-rock-and-painful-beyond-words twin assets. Then I can get back to writing again.

Take care for the time being. 🙂

28 weeks

This week has been a really tiring week, with little man being sick again right at the beginning of the month. It’s deja vu every month, and it’s really taking a toil on all our health (yes, caretakers are definitely affected due to the lack of sleep as well.

A colleague whose daughter was hospitalised during this period, told me that the doctors at KKH said that ever since the start of the year, there are so many children getting serious viral infections, hence had to be hospitalised. And the situation is just getting worse with the bad weather and incoming haze situation.

Anyway, we decided to give this highly recommended tcm physician a try tomorrow. Hopefully, he can make a difference to little man’s health and eczema situation. Will update more as we go along.

A visit to the gynea on Thursday also put my mind at ease about my “possible” gestational diabetes situation. I am within the range and do not need to be on special diet or test my blood every day. But because little pea is still on the higher range of normal, Dr Tham told me to continue watch my diet. I was still happily asking him if I can take durian if I pass the test, because I have great plans to go to Goodwood Park to buy some durian pastries. But he said no immediately. Oh well, I guess it’s alright. I am not exactly a big fan of durians, but you know, it’s human nature to crave for things you cannot have.

Anyway, I am just very happy to hear the news, hence I am going to indulge a little bit for the next few days. But because I certainly do not want the case of a big baby (read: caesarean) and gaining too much weight like I did for my first pregnancy, I will still try to keep my carbs and sugar down, eating more vegetables and protein.

Jiayou little pea. Jiayou Mama. Jiayou little man.

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Mama’s Original Weight: 44.8kg
Mama’s Weight at Week 28: 53.2kg (Gained 0.3kg in 3 weeks)
Little Pea’s Weight at Week 28: 1.251kg (Gained 0.265kg in 3 weeks)

26/27 weeks and 8 months

Hey there.

We have been away for a long time, mainly because the blog has been down for a while due to technical issues, and also because we have been very busy.

I don’t know where time has gone to, but we are now on our way into the 3rd trimester.

The first 2 trimesters have been really tiring. To top it up, little man caught a horrible bug from his Speech & Drama class, and has been very sick for an entire week just before Chinese New Year. Due to the hovering fever that wouldn’t come down, Hubby and I did not sleep well for the entire week. Being extremely lack of sleep but still dragging myself to work the entire time, I eventually broke down a couple of times. And having Chinese New Year so near and us so unprepared, did not make things any easier. But I was glad that we survived through it all.

Throughout this period, little pea grows well. Too well, in fact. In my last gynea visit, I was ordered to go on a low-carbs, low-sugar diet because little pea was bigger than most. Dr Tham was worried that I would not be able to pass my glucose test that is coming in 3 weeks’ time. This put quite a bit of stress on me, because on the contrary to what Dr Tham believed, I was already eating quite clean and healthy as compared to most. My only indulgence is a packet of Chrysanthemum Tea every evening after dinner. Although I have to admit, somehow I was constantly hungry when I was at work, and I had to snack because I was worried I might faint (which happened in my first pregnancy).

As I do more research on gestational diabetes, I understand better how to adjust my diet. Now, I will prepare a lunchbox full of vegetables so that I can snack on them in between breakfast (at about 7.45am) and lunch (at about 1.45pm). I also snack on mixed nuts whenever I had to. It is a pity I had to limit my fruits intake, because surprisingly, fruits and fruit juice are a no-no due to its sugar level. I am also ordering food delivery from “Food Matters” to my workplace so that I can eat better and cleaner. Perhaps another post for this another day. Now I am just praying that all will be well in my next gynea visit.

Here’s a clear ultrascan of chubby little pea. Not sure if you can see it, but it shows a clear image of his face.

Mama’s Original Weight: 44.8kg
Mama’s Weight at Week 25: 52.9kg
Little Pea’s Weight at Week 25: 986g

In other news, little man is now 8 months steroid-free.

His eczema is definitely spreading, although he is looking so much better now and his skin is feeling so much softer to touch as compared to the past 8 months.

Somehow, I feel we are at a bottle-neck again as his naturopath is back in Canada for maternity leave and I feel that her replacement is not as good. Naturopath is not cheap and I wonder if I should continue with the replacement, try another TCM practitioner or holistic doctor recommended by some, or just wait it out. Based on many successful stories, time plays a part too. The damaged gut and body need time to heal. But sometimes I am just too anxious for little man to be well before little pea comes into the picture. I am not sure if I can deal with too many things on my plate when that happens. Based on my previous pregnancy experience, postnatal blues is very real and can do things to your mind you never knew.

Anyway, I am too tired to think about this now. May God show us the right path as we slowly journey forward.

A few pictures to show his condition, although pictures often do not tell the whole story.

7th Dec 2015

7th Feb 2016

You know, actually work has been really shitty. No, let me correct that, some people at work has been really shitty. The most shitty part of it all is that, you have no full idea what exactly they have done or said behind your back to put you in the dire situation that you are in currently. And they do that based on one simple reason, they do not like you, so does their clique. It sounded so childish but at the same time, you know that it is such childish play that could land you in muddy waters.

But every time when I come home feeling tired of trying to be strong and hiding my anger, and I look at my little man who has been such a good boy, and so optimistic and happy despite his eczema discomfort, my Hubby who has been doing so much for us and our growing family despite his own tiring work and little pea who is getting so much stronger with his kicks, I feel like nothing else really matters. Because shitty work is just a very small part of my life. And putting that aside, I am grateful for everything good that has come to me, including good friends and colleagues who make the shit more bearable.

Welcome to the boys club

As aptly put by my cousin who has three boys of her own.

But there is no way I am going to have three boys. Two are enough, be it girl or boy. They now have company for each other when Hubby and I get older, and that is the only thing I am concerned about.

Actually, we sort of know the baby’s gender rather early back in Week 13. We had the Panorama Test (blood test) done because of my age, and thank God, all is well. But I was in denial. Haha. I refused to believe the nurse (who sounded pretty blur in the phone conversation by the way) and told Hubby that I must see (the penis) to believe.

Yes, I cannot lie. I was disappointed. All signs gave me hope for a girl. But now, I actually feel that it might not be a bad thing for the second child to be a boy again for the following reasons:

  1. I can safely target on a single gender Primary school.
  2. There is no need to buy most clothes and toys. There is no need to buy more storage for dolls and girly stuff.
  3. There is no need to think about having a separate room for the both of them. Just learn to live with each other (in one bedroom).
  4. I can buy new clothes for little man without feeling too guilty about it. Even if he outgrows it, Didi can still wear.

Yesterday, when the village (sans Hubby) accompanied me to my gynea, Dr Tham, baby was so cooperative and generously opened his legs and showed us his precious. Mother was so amused. I immediately called Hubby after that and told him about it. When we came home, Hubby found out that Dr Tham has not saved the ultrascan images in the thumbdrive. He was so upset and kept complaining that Dr Tham should have checked before returning me the thumbdrive.

Seriously, I didn’t think it’s Dr Tham’s fault as this saving of ultrascans is actually a complimentary service on his part. He has been a wonderful gynea, and NOT an IT guy, I had to remind Hubby. I was really amused by Hubby’s reaction, but I guess he was wanted to see his son’s picture, since that he can’t do it in person.

I am really grateful that everything went well for little pea, although my body was still reacting badly to the pregnancy. But as long as baby is well, I will endure whatever I have to go through.

Stay strong and healthy, my little pea. Mama and Papa love you very much.

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Mama’s Original Weight: 44.8kg
Mama’s Weight at Week 17: 46.6kg

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