Guiding behaviour and personality

We went out with little man’s favourite person, his 阿姨 (Aunt) again today.

It was almost a bi-weekly thing to go and see our Chinese physician at Chung Hwa Medical Hospital. And little man is now starting to warm up to her. He is even willing to open his mouth and show her his tongue. It’s great to know that other than taking western medicine when we are sick, we can build up our body constitution with the help of a good Chinese physician and Chinese herbs.

After the consultation, we went to enjoy some tau hway at Mr Bean. Little man started to scream whenever my sister don’t let him get his way. When I started to reprimand him, he screamed even louder.

Now, little man was never like that when we were alone. Yes, he would whimper or cry a little when I reprimand him, but he will never scream like a spoilt brat. Sometimes I find it hard to discipline and teach little man when my family is around. Perhaps he knows he will be given in to, hence he takes the opportunity whenever my family is around to make a fuss if things don’t go his way. I had to pull him aside to talk some sense into him. Yes, although little man is only 19 months, he can understand (in his baby sense) when I try to reason with him. The worse scenario when my father is around, he will follow us out and attempt to “rescue” little man. Others may find it endearing, but frankly it is not when you are trying to teach some good behaviours into that baby of yours. This is something I am still trying to overcome. Since it’s my family, I shall be the one to be hard on them and make them understand that no one should be interferring when I am disciplining my child.

Little man is a rather mature and sensitive child given his young age. He sometimes displays such complexity in his reactions and emotions that it makes me feel that we should really be more aware and careful when teaching or disciplining him. A few traits and behaviours I’ve noticed:

  • He has strong pride and a huge ego.
  • It is difficult to get him to apologise even when he shows that he understand he is in the wrong. Although I am glad he will soften down when that happens.
  • He prefers to pretend that nothing has happened as a means of getting away from a bad situation.
  • He will sometimes try to hide his tears (after being scolded) by trying to distract us with something else. But being a young toddler, you can still see that he is trying to hide his tears.
  • When he finally can’t take it and break down, he will try to bury his face somewhere (in the wall, in the sofa, just somewhere) and refuse to look at us.
  • When we spank his palm, he will pretend that it doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t matter, but will still keep comforting his own sore palms.
  • He will not show that he has learnt his lesson at that point in time when we discipline him. But from my observation, he knows his mistakes and will avoid doing it (though not everything we stopped him from doing).

I told Hubby that we must be more sensitive when teaching and guiding little man. I have seen people (especially the male gender) who hide their feelings and emotions from everyone because they grew up doing so. Such people have the tendency to emotionally push others away from their life and are often misunderstood. I hope to be a mother whom little man feels safe to share things with, someone he will go to when he goes into trouble, someone he will want to share his joy and problems with. I do not want to be just a mother, a mother who gave birth to him, but knows nothing about him.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: